I don't know. That doesn't make any sense. [It can't be New Caprica, can it? The Eight? His Eight? His jaw tightens, eyes flashing with anxiety.] Then again, things not making sense here is just about par for the course.
The last flood did a pretty frakking good job of reminding me what I used to be like.
If you want to know what kind of ship you've chosen to serve on, I can show you. There was another warden here, a scientist, studying the way this place operates. He left his notes to me. They're a complete mess -- more impenetrable than a DRADIS in a radiation field. Nothing here makes sense.
You know, you weren't that bad the way you used to be. It was why Hoshi liked you. And it was why I was willing to be, I don't know, your CAG, even though it's not something I really want to be.
Oh, I understand that now. I assumed that was the reason I was being kept here. Some lesson in taking responsibility, maybe. [Except that's not it, so seriously, what is it?]
Look-- I was... fond... of Louis, but he was naive. We all were, when we started. If he's managed to hold onto that... I'm happy for him, but I haven't. I've grown the frak up. Maybe I've traded passion for certainty, but I know which one I'd rather have.
The only thing you were naive for believing was that Zarek wasn't a frakking psychopath.
What happened? Why did we go from having the support of most of the fleet to spinning out of control? Because it happened, and it happened fast. We were reacting, not acting, and nothing went to plan.
Was that you? Did Adama scare you? Did it become personal, that you had to beat him, and you had to do it your way?
I'm not doing this. I'm not going through a post-mortem with you. It happened the way it happened. [Tom and the Quorum. Roslin on the Basestar. Sedition, escapes, cracks that were slipped through... He's gone over it all painful bit by bit in his head already, a thousand times, and as little a believer as he is there's a part of him that can't help but wonder if they were destined to fail.
[He's tempted to tell her to frak off -- it doesn't matter to him anymore, and he doesn't want to talk about it. But that wouldn't make him any better than Adama, would it? Adama, who ignored his own people.
Like it or not, warden or not, she's still one of his, in a way. He sighs.] Things... didn't go the way they were supposed to. That's all I can say.
[ She doesn't sound particularly pissed off when she says that, though. ]
From our point of view, from my eyes, it looked like at some point it stopped being "we need to do this" and became "Felix Gaeta needs to prove he can do this", like the old man scared you... but what do I know. I've thought about it too much.
I got scared too. I didn't like going up against Starbuck. And Apollo.
I know that somewhere along the line, I made a choice the Admiral, this Admiral, disagrees with. I just... was wrong about which choice that is. [And the more he considers it-- if he let himself care about graduation, the more worried he'd be. Is it about Gaius? Sharon? New Caprica? There's a lot of history in the last four years.]
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If you want to know what kind of ship you've chosen to serve on, I can show you. There was another warden here, a scientist, studying the way this place operates. He left his notes to me. They're a complete mess -- more impenetrable than a DRADIS in a radiation field. Nothing here makes sense.
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You were really... passionate.
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Look-- I was... fond... of Louis, but he was naive. We all were, when we started. If he's managed to hold onto that... I'm happy for him, but I haven't. I've grown the frak up. Maybe I've traded passion for certainty, but I know which one I'd rather have.
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What happened? Why did we go from having the support of most of the fleet to spinning out of control? Because it happened, and it happened fast. We were reacting, not acting, and nothing went to plan.
Was that you? Did Adama scare you? Did it become personal, that you had to beat him, and you had to do it your way?
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I'm not doing this. I'm not going through a post-mortem with you. It happened the way it happened. [Tom and the Quorum. Roslin on the Basestar. Sedition, escapes, cracks that were slipped through... He's gone over it all painful bit by bit in his head already, a thousand times, and as little a believer as he is there's a part of him that can't help but wonder if they were destined to fail.
If the human race was destined to go extinct.]
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Like it or not, warden or not, she's still one of his, in a way. He sighs.] Things... didn't go the way they were supposed to. That's all I can say.
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[ She doesn't sound particularly pissed off when she says that, though. ]
From our point of view, from my eyes, it looked like at some point it stopped being "we need to do this" and became "Felix Gaeta needs to prove he can do this", like the old man scared you... but what do I know. I've thought about it too much.
I got scared too. I didn't like going up against Starbuck. And Apollo.
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[ ugh. ]
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And if I'd been there, I might have reminded you that Apollo is the one who got Baltar acquitted. We've all made choices.
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We've all made choices.
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